Aftermath
by rin916
Summary: Set after 5x13 Merlin goes back to Camelot. Full disclosure inside. Something short and sweet I came up with... sweet being a terrible use of the word but the old saying stands as applicable. I suck at summaries and making up titles. I do hope you will give it a read :)


Merlin Fandom, please forgive me. I binged watched Merlin about a month ago, and revisited episodes that have wonderfully haunted me since then and got this hair brained idea of a story. I HERBY ADMIT that this deviates from cannon, but it is something that has been in my head for far too long. Hit way to close to home, and had to get out (of my head… which I am deeply sorry but has long since been the place that the system dumps land).

I write to save someone life. Most likely my own. So here we go…

Oh yes. Also fair warning. I have written this, typed it and posted it all in the same day… which is something I haven't done since my very first post to this site… so… yeah. Low expectations. Thousands of apologies.

Set after 5x13

I own nothing-

Merlin walked into Camelot, after sending his friend's body adrift in the lake, broken hearted. For the loss of his friend. The failure on his part. He has one job. To keep Arthur alive, and he had failed. Yes, Arthur was the once and future king. Apparently he would rise once again! But NOW he was gone… And NOW he had to look at Gaius, who was so proud of him; his ward, helper, son, that his favorite meal was to be waiting on him. And then there was Gwen. How could he look at her? What could he possibly say to her? It just broke his heart more.

So there was Elyan, Gwaine, Lancelot, who were very dear to him, but Arthur. He was the one of two whom he loved the most, and despite his best efforts and intentions, there was nothing he could do to save him. Or her, Freya. Merlin had sat next to the Lake of Avalon and felt her presence as he cried. The breeze, which carried her magic, comforted him as he was drowning in the pain of his loss. Merlin couldn't say that it made it worse, because not feeling her again would have definitely been worse, but it did make him miss her more than words could ever hope to express.

Gwen met him as he entered the castle, with tears in her eyes. Her eyes were full of only one question. Merlin just shook his head, knowing that his voice was inoperable. She dashed to him, arms open. He accepted the hug and held her as she cried.

Merlin felt his tears release and with a small cough he whispered, "I am so sorry."

She squeezed him as her cries turned into sobs.

"I am so sorry I could not save him."

Gwen regained herself a bit and looked up at him. "I know who you are. What you are. And I thank you, for everything you have done, and for being with him to the end."

This declaration made Merlin sob. He buried his head into her hair in efforts to try and keep his verbal cries of distress as silent as he could. "-So sorry." Apologies seemed to be the only thing that would come out of his mouth. He knew how Gwen had loved their king. Her husband. And he knew she was strong and resilient. Losing her father, her brother, and now her true love., it would not break her. Not when Arthur left her to be his successor. But how could he say anything to make her feel better, when he had failed.

"You have saved all of Camelot. You were a true friend to him. You helped him build this kingdom. And I hope, I can look to you as a friend and advisor as I rule this Kingdom, he has left to me, which you two built?" She asked gently, after pulling back slightly to look him in the eye.

Merlin took a step back and pulled his neckerchief up to dry his face. Once his face was dry, or at least no longer flooding with tears, he nodded and managed a weak smile and a teary, "I will try and not fail you again."

She rolled her eyes and gave a small snort, "Merlin, you did all you could. I know you did. You gave it everything you could and then some. There was nothing you could do."

"Merlin," A voice called from behind him.

The warlock turned around and his eyes watered again, "Gaius."

The elderly man went to the young sorcerer swiftly and hugged him.

"He is gone."

The physician held the young man as he cried, "You did all you could."

"It wasn't enough." Merlin muttered as he tried to not full on sob again.

"It was. It was my boy." Gaius comforted him. "Come, I have your favorite meal on the table." He let Merlin out of the hug but kept one arm around his back. "My queen," Gaius acknowledged Gwen.

She nodded to them both and the pair of men walked back to their rooms.


End file.
